If you are like me and grew up watching the original Transformers, He-man, and G.I. Joe cartoons as a kid and you paid money to see this film and enjoyed it, you should be ashamed of yourself. Deeply, deeply ashamed.
Hollywood has decided to take beloved cartoons from my generation's childhood and make them into loud, special effects laden, live-action movies because, since they have a built in audience of 20 and 30 somethings, they figure they can easily make a few 100 mil off old ideas. And they can, apparently. To my distress.
Let me be clear. I would love for Hollywood to make a really cool G.I. Joe live action movie. I would love to see those awesome, creative, colorful characters brought to life and go kick butt. But no. Hollywood couldn't make a movie that was true to the coolness of the original. They have to remove all originality from it in order to make it appeal to a broader audience, which means it will appeal to no one in particular.
For example: Take a look at the movie poster for the new film and the photo below of the cartoon cast. Do you notice how in the movie all the characters seem alike and have no real individuality or character of their own? Now take a look at the characters below. Notice the sailor? The diver? The ninja? Look how cool these guys look. Each one has a personality of his or her own that makes them interesting. The new film lacks that variety that made the show interesting.
I guarantee you this movie is awful. I guarantee you the characters have no real personality at all. I guarantee you the plot will barely make sense. I guarantee you big explosions and some fighting, but not good explosions or fighting. This movie will be a waste of your time and is a waste of a cool idea.
To be fair, I should mention that Benny has seen this movie. (I am appropriately ashamed that he paid money to the makers of it.) He informs me that the movie is, in fact, horribly bad. Worse even then Transformers (because at least Transformers had entertainment value). I already knew this before he told me, so it doesn't taint my review, but I thought you should know he agreed with me.
Quality: (No stars.)
Entertainment: * (For the explosions.)
Michael Bay Seal of Approval
*By the way, they are making a live action He-man movie again, I hear. I die a little inside.
To be fair, I should mention that Benny has seen this movie. (I am appropriately ashamed that he paid money to the makers of it.) He informs me that the movie is, in fact, horribly bad. Worse even then Transformers (because at least Transformers had entertainment value). I already knew this before he told me, so it doesn't taint my review, but I thought you should know he agreed with me.
Quality: (No stars.)
Entertainment: * (For the explosions.)
Michael Bay Seal of Approval
*By the way, they are making a live action He-man movie again, I hear. I die a little inside.
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